If Madonna repeats a trick it’s now deemed stale, if she attempts to inject young blood into projects it’s ‘pathetic’ and a sinister attempt to appear ‘relevant’. What seems to be wanted from our older popstars today is to disappear into a haze of nostalgia that is comfortable for everyone or to cease to exist, to grow old gracefully, hidden from view…the woman who introduced the world to the cone bra does not slope off into irrelevance. The woman who slapped a Chihuahua dressed as a gimp on the bum does not dissolve into a humourless, banal heap. She is Madonna and will continue to do Madonna-like things until she dances merrily off this mortal coil. If that’s too much for you avert your eyes and plug your ears because the Queen of Pop has nothing to apologise for, not her body, not her musical choices, not even her continuous misguided foray into the film world. In the words of the woman herself: absolutely no regrets.